As I already admitted, I’m no nurse.  I have my own ways of dealing with ‘sick’ kids… and by ‘sick’ I mean, faking it.  I’ve grown clever at seeing through the sneaky tricks of five-year-olds wanting to get a free visit to the nurse.  Here is my shortlist of strategies:

  1. “Get a cool drink of water.”  You’d be amazed at the miracle of water.  It can fix almost anything that ails you.  For the record, our water fountain only has one temperature, but saying ‘cool’ makes the drink more soothing.
  2. “Get a wet paper towel.” The magic of water + the super absorbency of industrial strength paper towels can make any boo-boo feel better.
  3. “Take it easy.”  When you tell me you feel like you’ve ‘broken every bone’ in your body (I’ve heard it), what else can offer you?
  4. “Go put your head down for awhile.” This is not usually what they want to hear, but it can really make a child turn it around quickly and suddenly feel better.

That being said, I can slap a mean band-aid on a kid.  Today, for some reason, I applied four, which is kind of a lot.  Three were actual boo-boos requiring my expertise to apply.  Two out of four were prior cuts that had been biten, picked at, or both to the point of bleeding… Another was a scrape on a boy’s knee that could get an injury sitting perfectly still in a room made of pillows.  The last one was a little girl who really didn’t need a band-aid, but thought she did.  I was feeling super nice and so gave her one with a smile.

Here’s a patented trick for teacher band-aid applications.  If you use it, I demand credit! Everyone knows boo-boos need kissing.  Everyone also knows, if I, a male teacher, started smooching children’s cuts, I’d be hauled off and fired stat.  That being said, those boo-boos still need kissing.  So, after applying a band-aid, I always hold the freshly appointed bandage up to the child’s face and say, “Now, kiss it!”

They kiss their own boo-boo, sometimes multiple times and everyone is happy.  Their boo-boo gets a kiss and I get to keep my job – it’s a win-win!

There is something sweet, dare I say nurturing, about applying a band-aid. Each time I do it, I take special care, sitting in my chair, pulling the damaged body part close for inspection, and finally gently applying the all healing band-aid before requesting the child kiss it to make it better.  I’m not a doctor, and will never be a nurse, but the love and care I put into ripping the wrapper off and applying a band-aid can’t be topped.